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You’ve landed a date and you’re stoked about it. You think there’s potential with this person, and you’re excited to spend time together.
But as you’re getting ready for your big night, thoughts start flooding your brain.
What if your date tries to hold your hand and they’re dripping with sweat?
What if you sweat through your shirt or leave marks on your chair?
What if things get spicy and your date discovers that you’re sweaty down there?
The more you think about it, the more you wonder… Will your date think you’re gross? Or stinky? Will they ask why you’re so sweaty? Will they think your body is disgusting?
Navigating dating with hyperhidrosis is difficult and can be emotionally painful. The stigma around sweating is real, and this can cause people with hyperhidrosis to feel uneasy in their skin. One wrong glance from someone can lead to a shame spiral.
However, it is possible to successfully navigate the dating scene with hyperhidrosis. You deserve companionship and love just as much as anyone else, and there’s no shame in sweating.
If you’re entering the dating world, here are 7 tips that can help make the process a little less stressful.
7 Tips for Dating When You Have Hyperhidrosis
1. Plan a date that will help put you at ease.
Maria Thomas, OG hyperhidrosis advocate and founder of My Life as a Puddle, explained the relationship between nervousness and sweating in episode 9 of the How to Sweat Less Podcast when she said: “I’m not sweating because I’m nervous. I’m nervous because I’m sweating.”
In other words, what you’re probably most nervous about is turning into a dripping, sweaty mess — rather than the date itself. When your sweating is triggered, it can make you feel uncomfortable, which then creates a vicious cycle of nervousness and sweatiness.
To help, try to choose activities that will avoid your known sweat triggers. For instance, don’t go for a hike in the midday sun if the heat triggers your sweating. Or, don’t go for coffee, if coffee causes your hands, feet and underarms to drip. Choose activities you think you’ll feel most comfortable in – physically and emotionally.
Yes, you might still end up dripping with sweat on your date, but at least you gave yourself a fighting chance.
2. Choose clothing (and bring supplies) that support your comfort.
When you’re planning for your date, think about the clothes you’ll wear and if you’ll feel comfortable in them. If specific fabrics cause you to sweat more, try to avoid those — especially if you think sweaty clothes will add to your stress.
It can also be helpful to bring a hand towel, antiperspirant, wipes, or powders, if those items will add to your comfort and put you at ease. A little planning ahead can really help.
3. Explore alternative date ideas.
If you find yourself completely dreading first dates, or even avoiding them altogether, maybe it’s worth getting creative.
For instance, maybe you want to message with the person for a while before you meet up with them, in order to reduce the pressure of the initial date.
Virtual dates or Facetime calls can also be a great way to get to know someone before meeting them in person.
4. Be open and honest with your date.
When you feel the time is right, let your date know that you have hyperhidrosis and how it affects you. While the choice is yours in terms of when to tell your date, some people find it helpful to get it out in the open early on.
Be patient with your date, as they may be unfamiliar with hyperhidrosis and the extent to which it affects every aspect of your life. Speaking honestly about it and fostering open dialogue can help.
5. Practice self-love and acceptance.
Although hyperhidrosis can affect every part of your life, it doesn’t define you. Focus on your positive qualities and attributes that make you unique and loveable, which includes your sweatiness. Remind yourself that you are worthy of love and there’s nothing wrong with sweating.
The right partner won’t be bothered that you’re sweaty and they’ll love you despite – and even because of – your hyperhidrosis.
6. Don’t be afraid to seek support.
If you’re feeling overwhelmed, talk to a therapist or counselor. They can help you develop coping mechanisms and strategies for dealing with the challenges of dating with hyperhidrosis.
Connecting with support groups or online communities of individuals with hyperhidrosis can also be helpful, allowing you to share experiences, tips, and encouragement.
7. Remember that you’re not alone.
About 385 million people worldwide have hyperhidrosis, meaning it’s not a rare condition. Many of those people with hyperhidrosis have found loving partners and are able to maintain successful relationships. You can too.
In Summary
Dating can be stressful, especially when you have hyperhidrosis. However, just because you have hyperhidrosis doesn’t mean you’re doomed to be single for life.
It’s very possible to successfully navigate the dating world as a woman with hyperhidrosis, and it helps to have these strategies up your sleeve.
Remember, you deserve love, companionship and dating adventures just as much as anyone else does.
You got this, Sweaty Girl. 🩷
